"You Staying Busy?"

I have a friend, a stay home mom who home schools her children like myself, who said people keep asking her this question as an opener. Like, "Hi! How are you? You staying busy?"

Hmmm.  Am I supposed to??

Now if you ask my husband this question with regard to his work, I know you're asking out of genuine concern, 'cause he needs to be busy or we don't eat! But that's not what I'm talking about. I think we've become confused about the difference between busy and productive. The former doesn't necessarily mean the latter. Is it really a badge of honor if I say I haven't seen my house since last Tuesday?

Rest. Repose. We need it. And not just when the sun goes down. If my days are so full of activity that I don't connect with my children, who benefits? If my evenings and weekends are so packed that I don't have any alone time with my husband, how does my marriage survive?

A few weeks ago I woke up feeling anxious. I was so stressed about my day's schedule, and the fact that it was going to be repeating itself every week until Christmas, that I could hardly function! I was overwhelmed and asking myself, "What have I done? What have I committed myself to and why did I do it?" My man, sensing my anxiety, suggested I was overbooked and asked me to look at what could be excluded from my week. Now I hate to admit this, but I don't always think his ideas are brilliant and worth an immediate, "Yep, gettin' right on that." But once I did figure out that I was over-extended and decided what I could and should give up, and I actually did it, my lungs involuntarily let out the biggest sigh of relief I had heard from myself in quite a while! He was right. Bless his man heart that's always trying to fix something when I just need him to listen, he was absolutely right.  And there was nothing in my weekly schedule that you'd look at and say was frivolous. It was all pretty good stuff, weekly Bible study and all. But I didn't have a week night at home from Sunday through Thursday. And my husband usually has to work late on Fridays. Something had to go, and when it did, my family had a new woman in the house. And thankfully it was me.

I don't think we're supposed to just "stay busy" for the sake of saying we are. What's wrong with answering, "Not a thing!" when someone asks what you did last night? "I rested! I recuperated from the previous non-stop 24 hours that couldn't be extracted from my schedule and it. was. great."

I grew up with two of those people who can't sit still. One of them raised me and the other one always talked me into doing something I didn't really want to. My Daddy is not a work aholic. He was very available to us growing up, and still is, but he does love his projects. He's always got something going. But he'll be the first one to tell you that when he tells himself to rest (and he has to tell himself because the idea doesn't come naturally) he always feels better and gets more accomplished after a little down time. The other "let's DO something!" red-head who shall remain nameless has crossed to the dark side in recent years. She still wants to do stuff and be where the people are, but she's all about the rest, too. You can even find her home on a Friday night every once in a while.

So, feel no guilt over those free evenings! You don't have to fill them up! Enjoy them! If something gets cancelled, leave the spot on the calendar blank! Take a breather! Buy a t-shirt that says, "I'm NOT staying busy. And I'm awesome."

"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28

"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint."
Jeremiah 31:25